The adventures of Thistle and Honey 4
Changing The Default
Thistle stands at the kitchen sink, quietly washing the dishes from the day before. Staring out the window lost in thought, while Honey basks in the early morning light. Her little eyes closed, her fuzzy body glowing slightly in the golden hue. Soaking it in with an air of contentment.
“We should get out of the cottage today,” Honey says dreamily, not bothering to open her eyes.
Thistle continues scrubbing the mug in her hand. “We spent all day outside yesterday. Do we really need to spend another entire day meditating?” she asks.
Ignoring her question, Honey replies, “I meant really out. Into town maybe? Or down to the beach? I’m sure there’s a lake hidden somewhere in the Forest of Shadows, if the ocean’s not your thing.”
At that, Thistle pauses as she rests her hands on the edge of the sink.
“The Forest of Shadows? Even if I still felt like dying, that wouldn’t be the way I’d choose to go,” she says flatly. “That place is crawling with things that want to kill you.”
Honey hums in consideration. “Okay. Forest of Shadows is a no for today. Town then?” She opens her eyes at last and sits up, stretching her wings lazily.
Thistle chuckles as she resumes washing the last of the dishes, “Today? It’s a no, every day.”
“Hmm we’ll see.” Honey replies.
Thistle sighs, “I haven’t been to town in months. I’ve grown comfortable in my isolation. Being around others now… it’s hard. It feels like I’ve forgotten how. I’m awkward, and I feel like an outsider in every room I enter. It’s easier just to stay where I feel comfortable. Even if that means being alone.”
Honey flutters down and perches delicately on the faucet, meeting Thistle’s eyes. “Is it comfort you feel, or are you just scared to be seen?” she asks gently. “Your solitude gave you the space to find yourself. And me.” She adds that last part with a proud little grin. “You’ve gone through something deep, a shift, a transformation. And honoring that new version of yourself matters. But there are so many wonders out there waiting to meet you. So many beings and experiences that could become part of your story.”
She leans in just a bit closer.
“Don’t you want to see what the next page holds?”
“I don’t like being around others,” Thistle mutters. “Someone’s always angry or saying something stupid. It’s overwhelming, and exhausting. And I know it’s dumb, and screams insecure, but it feels like every eye on me is a critical one.”
“Is it?” Honey asked gently. “Or is that just your expectation?”
Thistle scoffs. “So what? You’re saying it’s my fault everyone sucks?”
“No,” Honey replies calmly. “But it is your fault that you expect them to.”
Thistle lets out a bitter chuckle, shaking her head. “Of course. My fault. It’s always my fault.”
Honey is quick to reply, “Are you always this dramatic? or am I just special? Is there someone else you’d prefer to blame? Your parents, maybe? An ex-lover or two?”
Thistle shoots her a sharp look but says nothing.
Honey continues, undeterred. “Your expectations are yours and yours alone. Sure, when you were a child, it was easy to be led into beliefs, about the world, about others, about yourself. But at some point, Thistle… you get to choose. You get to decide which of those beliefs you still want to carry. And which ones you’re ready to rewrite.”
“It’s been, what… a day?!” Thistle says exhaling. “Does this new life have to happen all at once? Can’t we just take a day to let everything that’s already happened… settle?”
Honey responds gently, “This ‘new life’ is already unfolding, whether you feel ready or not. But every step is still yours to choose. This transformation, you chose it. And now, you get to decide what to do with it.”
She pauses, her tone softening even more.
“Yes, we can stay home today. There’s nothing wrong with that. You can’t get this wrong, Thistle. Your emotions, especially the heavy ones, aren’t mistakes. They’re not punishments. They’re signals. They’re simply showing you where you are.”
Thistle takes a moment to ponder this new way of thinking. She thinks about the reaction she just had, defaulting to guilt and shame at the question of accountability. The story that has been, isn’t the story she wants to read anymore. “I don’t want to live my life as a victim. I don’t want to be beholden to things that have already happened. I don’t want to react to pain, I want to transmute it, into something better. I don’t want to live in insecurities made from guilt and shame. That doesn’t have to be my default anymore. I want to live. I’m allowed, to live.” She thinks to herself.
The wind slips through the open window above the sink, tickling the curtains. “Close your eyes.” it whispers.
Breathe in
Breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
Thump
Thump
Thump
Thistle opens her eyes, as a determined smile lights up her face. “Okay… let’s go get some breakfast at the café down the path.”
Honey grins, wings fluttering with pride. “Atta girl.” She zips toward the bedroom “Now hurry up! Put your hair in a bun and grab a scarf.”
Thistle raises a brow as she dries her hands. “A scarf?”
“I need somewhere to hide,” Honey calls over her shoulder. “I’m not riding on your shoulder like a common parrot. And I’m definitely not flying next to you just to have some Ogre swat at me in the name of ‘protection.’”
Thistle laughs, shaking her head with a smile. “Alright, alright. A bun and a scarf. Your royal highness shall be chauffeured in style.”
Honey lands on the doorknob with a smirk. “As it should be.”
Grief. Hope. And the quiet pause between breaths.
Was having a burn it all day.. and knew exactly where to come to feel better. Thanks Bea!
(I’ve been listening to Tracey Chapman since you mentioned her and that helps too. 😅)